Mind & Thoughts

Fear has a way of sneaking in like an uninvited guest. It doesn’t always knock loudly; sometimes it just lingers in the corner, whispering doubts and “what ifs” until you’re too afraid to move. I know that feeling all too well. The nights lying awake, rehearsing every possible disaster. The days where even the smallest task feels like climbing a mountain with weights strapped to your legs. But here’s the truth I’ve learned: fear and anxiety aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs that you’re alive, that you care, that something matters deeply. The real challenge isn’t to banish them—that’s nearly impossible. It’s to face them head-on, to walk through the fire without letting it consume you. Let’s talk about how. Step 1: Call Fear By Its Name When I was younger, I used to avoid my anxiety like the plague. If I pretended it wasn’t there, maybe it would disappear. Spoiler: it didn’t. It grew louder. One day I decided to try something different. I wrote my fears down in a notebook—everything from “I’m afraid I’ll fail at this new job” to “What if everyone thinks I’m not good enough?” And something shifted. Suddenly, those monsters in my head looked a lot smaller on paper. That’s the first step: name your fear. Anxiety thrives in the shadows, but once you shine a light on it, it loses some of its power. Step 2: Slow the Storm in Your Body Fear isn’t just in your mind—it’s in your body too. My heart races, palms sweat, and I feel like I can’t breathe when anxiety hits. For years, I thought that meant I was in real danger. But I wasn’t. Breathing became my anchor. Simple, steady breaths—inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six. The first time I tried it in the middle of a panic, it felt silly. But within minutes, the storm started to quiet. The body calmed, and my mind followed. Think of it like hitting the reset button on a computer. You can’t fix the program until you stop the glitch. Step 3: Question the Stories Fear Tells Fear is a master storyteller. Mine likes to whisper, “You’re not ready. You’ll embarrass yourself. Everyone will see you fail.” One day before a big presentation, I sat down and asked myself: What evidence do I actually have that this is true? I’d prepared, I’d practiced. The evidence said I was ready—my fear just hadn’t updated its facts. Next time fear spins you a tale, don’t just listen. Be the editor. Ask: Is this truth, or is it just a story? Step 4: Small Wins Break Big Walls I once thought courage meant doing something huge, like jumping straight into the deep end. But I learned courage can be built in layers. When public speaking terrified me, I didn’t sign up for a big stage. I started small. First, I practiced in the mirror. Then I tried it in front of one friend. Then two. Each step felt like climbing a rung on a ladder, and little by little, the wall of fear cracked. Overcoming anxiety isn’t about slaying dragons in one go. It’s about taming them inch by inch. Step 5: Come Back to Now Anxiety loves to drag us into time machines. It replays the past and fast-forwards into catastrophic futures. I used to get stuck there—beating myself up for what went wrong yesterday, panicking over what might go wrong tomorrow. The practice that saved me? Grounding. The 5-4-3-2-1 trick. Look around: five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. It sounds simple, but when your mind is spiraling, this little exercise brings you back to what’s real: the present moment. And that’s the only place you can actually do something. Step 6: Strengthen Your Base There’s no getting around it—your body and your mind are on the same team. When I wasn’t sleeping well, living on junk food, and skipping exercise, my anxiety doubled down. My body was already on edge, so every worry felt ten times worse. Taking care of the basics—moving my body, eating real food, actually resting—didn’t cure my anxiety, but it gave me more solid ground to stand on. Think of it like building a stronger foundation for a house. You can’t weather storms if the base is cracked. Step 7: Don’t Battle Alone Fear feeds on isolation. For a long time, I kept mine hidden because I thought no one would understand. But the day I finally shared what I was going through with a close friend, I realized two things: one, I wasn’t crazy. Two, I wasn’t alone. Support—whether from friends, mentors, or professionals—doesn’t erase the fear, but it makes carrying it lighter. It’s like walking through the dark with a flashlight someone else handed you. Step 8: Flip Fear Into Fuel Here’s a twist: fear shows up most where we care the most. Think about it—would you feel anxious about something meaningless? Probably not. Before I speak to a group, my stomach still knots. But I’ve started to see that as proof I care about connecting, about doing well. That nervous energy, if I let it, sharpens my focus. Fear isn’t always the enemy—it can be a compass pointing to what matters. Closing Thoughts Fear and anxiety may never fully vanish from your life. They’re part of being human. But they don’t have to be the steering wheel. Step by step—naming them, calming your body, challenging the stories, taking small wins—you can move from frozen to forward. The goal isn’t to be fearless. That’s a myth. The goal is to walk anyway, even with the fear riding shotgun. Courage is choosing to act when fear is loudest. Every time you do, fear loses just a little more of its grip.